Solo Travel as a Woman with Two Homes: What Growing Up Between Cultures Taught Me About Belonging Anywhere
I learned early that “where are you from?” is not a simple question.
Not when your mother packs berbere in your suitcase next to German bread. Not when you celebrate Easter twice… once with candles in a German church and once with coffee ceremonies that last all afternoon. Not when home sounds like Tigrinya at the breakfast table and German everywhere else.
For a long time, I thought this meant I was split in half. Two worlds inside me, pulling in opposite directions. Then I started traveling solo.
In this blog post, you’ll learn more about identity, culture, and the meaning of home through solo travel reflections.
Your Travel Roadmap
📍 In this guide, you’ll discover:
🏠 Why “where are you from?” is complicated (and that’s okay)
👁️ How growing up between cultures taught me to observe
🎭 The freedom of finally stopping the performance
🧭 What danger looks like when it doesn’t look like danger
🌊 Why loneliness is a wave, not a wall
✨ How not belonging became my travel superpower
🎟️ Permission to book the flight (even if you’ve never quite fit in)
Solo Female Travel and Growing Up Between Cultures
1. I Learned to Read Rooms Before I Entered Them
Here’s the thing about never fully belonging: Eventually, you stop trying.
I spent years exhausting myself attempting to be German enough for Germany, Eritrean enough for Eritrea. It never worked. There was always something. The wrong way. The wrong rhythm. The wrong way of sitting.
Eventually, I gave up.
And that giving up? It was freedom.
When I started solo traveling, I noticed other women, especially first-timers spending huge amounts of energy trying to blend in. Dress like the locals. Act like they’d been there forever. Perform belonging.
I don’t do that anymore.
I walk into a café in Oporto, and I’m the woman with the German efficiency ordering coffee and the Eritrean patience drinking it for two hours. I don’t try to hide either half.
And here’s the secret: No one cares. Locals aren’t scanning the room for the one woman who doesn’t quite belong. They’re eating their pastel de nata and living their lives.
Solo travel lesson: You don’t need to blend in. You just need to be present. Authenticity is more interesting than performance anyway.
2. I Stopped Expecting to "Fit In"—and Started Enjoying the View
Here’s the thing about never fully belonging: Eventually, you stop trying.
I spent years exhausting myself attempting to be German enough for Germany, Eritrean enough for Eritrea. It never worked. There was always something. The wrong way. The wrong rhythm. The wrong way of sitting.
Eventually, I gave up.
And that giving up? It was freedom.
When I started solo traveling, I noticed other women, especially first-timers spending huge amounts of energy trying to blend in. Dress like the locals. Act like they’d been there forever. Perform belonging.
I don’t do that anymore.
I walk into a café in Oporto, and I’m the woman with the German efficiency ordering coffee and the Eritrean patience drinking it for two hours. I don’t try to hide either half.
And here’s the secret: No one cares. Locals aren’t scanning the room for the one woman who doesn’t quite belong. They’re eating their pastel de nata and living their lives.
Solo travel lesson: You don’t need to blend in. You just need to be present. Authenticity is more interesting than performance anyway.
3. I Know That Safety Lives in Awareness, Not Walls
Growing up between two cultures taught me that danger doesn’t always look like danger.
Sometimes it looks like a “friendly” man buying you tea in Istanbul, generous until you try to leave, and suddenly you realize the tea had a price after all.
Sometimes it looks like a relative’s silence about things that happened during the war, not because they’re hiding, but because some wounds don’t translate.
I learned to pay attention to what isn’t said. To the shift in someone’s shoulders. To the pause that lasts one breath too long.
That skill has kept me safer than any pepper spray ever could. It’s the ultimate solo female travel safety tip.
When I’m walking alone at night in a new city, I’m not just looking for obvious threats. I’m listening to my nervous system. That “off” feeling? I trust it. I learned to trust it in rooms where I couldn’t understand the language but could feel the temperature change.
Solo travel lesson: Your intuition is not paranoia. It’s data your conscious mind hasn’t processed yet. Listen to it.
4. Loneliness Stopped Scaring Me
Here’s what no one tells you about growing up between cultures:
You get very, very comfortable being the only one in the room.
I’ve spent my whole life in spaces where no one else shared my exact context. Where I was the only one who celebrated both German Christmas and an Eritrean coffee ceremony. Where I had to explain things that everyone else just… knew.
By the time I started solo traveling, loneliness wasn’t new. It was familiar.
And familiarity strips fear of its power.
When loneliness hits on the road and it will, usually around day four, right after the initial excitement fades, I don’t panic. I recognize the feeling. I’ve sat with it before. I know it peaks, crashes, and passes.
Solo travel lesson: Loneliness is a wave, not a wall. Let it wash over you. It won’t drown you.
What This Means for Your Solo Travel Planning
If you’re reading this thinking “I’m not from two cultures, does any of this apply to me?”—yes. Absolutely.
Because here’s what I’ve learned watching other solo travelers:
The women who travel best aren’t the ones who belong everywhere. They’re the ones who’ve made peace with not belonging anywhere.
You don’t need two passports to develop these skills. You just need practice being the observer. Practice trusting yourself in unfamiliar rooms. Practice sitting with discomfort until it becomes familiar.
And if you’re just starting? Good news: You don’t have to figure it all out alone.
I’ve written a few things that might help:
- 🌍If you’re terrified before your first trip: Solo Female Travel With Strict Parents: My First Trip to Australia Changed Everything
- 🧠 If you’re a woman of color wondering how your experience might be different: Solo Travel Guide for Women of Color
- 🗺️ If you need the absolute basics: The Unfiltered Beginner’s Guide to Solo Female Travel
Tools That Help Me to Travel Solo Anywhere
Because identity crises are exhausting, and sometimes you need gear, not just feelings.
What I Know Now About Solo Travel and Belonging
I am not half German and half Eritrean traveling the world.
I am fully both. All the time. In every country. In every hostel common room.
And here’s what I’ve learned:
Solo travel doesn’t require you to belong anywhere. It just requires you to be willing to show up.
Women who travel solo aren’t usually richer, younger, or more adventurous…in most cases. They’ve just learned through whatever circumstances life gave them that not fitting in perfectly is actually fine.
Some of us learned that growing up between countries.
Some of us learn it on the road.
Either way, the destination is the same: Freedom from the exhausting performance of belonging.
What I Wish I Knew Before I Started Solo Female Travel
- ✈️ I don’t need to be fearless to travel alone. Courage is not the absence of fear.
- 🌍 Not belonging everywhere is not a flaw — it’s freedom in disguise.
- 🧠 Loneliness on the road is normal and usually temporary.
- 🤍 I don’t need permission from anyone to move through the world alone.
- 👀 Being an observer is a strength, not a social weakness.
- 📖If you’re preparing for your first trip alone, you might like my beginner’s guide to solo female travel.
Mini FAQ: Solo Travel and Identity
🌎 Do you feel more German or more Eritrean when you travel?
Depends on the situation. In countries with good public transport? Very German. In countries where hospitality means sitting for three hours over coffee? Very Eritrean. Both are useful.✈️ What language do you think in on the road?
Whatever the situation requires. My brain is chaos. It works.🏨 Do you ever feel like you don’t belong in hostels or travel spaces?
Sometimes. Travel spaces can be very Western, very English-speaking, very “everyone here has the same reference points.” I don’t. But I’ve stopped expecting to. I belong in my own company, and that’s enough.🤝 How can solo travelers be more inclusive of people with different backgrounds?
Stop assuming everyone shares your context. Don’t ask “where are you really from” like it’s a gotcha question. Be curious about difference instead of threatened by it. And if someone eats with their hands, maybe try it instead of staring.🌱 What’s the best thing growing up between cultures gave you for solo travel?
Comfort with being the observer. I can sit in a room full of strangers and feel fine. I’ve done it my whole life.⚠️ Is solo travel safe for women?
Safety depends more on awareness and preparation than gender. Many women travel solo successfully by staying alert, choosing safe areas, and trusting their intuition.🧠 Can introverts enjoy solo travel?
Yes. Solo travel can be very comfortable for introverts because it allows you to control social interaction and rest when you need to.🤍 Do you need to be adventurous to travel alone?
No. You don’t need to be an adrenaline seeker. Curiosity and openness are more important than being adventurous. Many solo travelers are simply thoughtful observers.
Final Thoughts – Last Stop Before Takeoff!
Maybe you grew up between cultures like me.
Maybe you just always felt a little outside, even in your own life.
Maybe you’re reading this because you’re scared to book your first solo trip, and you’re looking for permission.
Here’s what I want you to know:
The thing that makes you feel like you don’t fit in? That’s exactly what will set you free on the road.
Because solo travel doesn’t reward belonging. It rewards adaptability. Observation. Comfort with your own company.
You already have those. You’ve been practicing your whole life.
Now go book the flight.
Adventure on, I’ll see you on the road!
Still overwhelmed By Solo Traveling?
Where are you from? Still a complicated question.
But now, when someone asks me on the road, I have an answer I actually believe:
I’m from the space between. And it turns out, that space is big enough to hold the whole world.
Ready to book your first trip?
Book a meentor meeting with me and I’ll bring the virtual coffee. ☕
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This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase through it, I might earn a small commission at no extra cost to you, basically, enough for a little travel snack while planning my next adventure. Solo travel advice is best written with coffee and something sweet nearby.
Feven is a solo female travel mentor who has visited 59 countries, 7 continents and helps women travel with confidence. She creates resources to help women overcome fear and plan their first solo trip. Follow her adventures on Instagram.